It’s a big, wide world out there. And when you’re in recovery, a lot of things can get in the way of you accomplishing your recovery goals. Certain situations, people, and addiction triggers may even try to drive you to relapse if you’re not careful. That’s why setting boundaries in recovery is so important to helping you stay the course. But how can you set healthy boundaries that support your recovery progress?
Why Setting Boundaries in Recovery Matters
Boundaries are what you set for yourself to promote and assure your recovery, according to Mental Health America. They’re especially important in your first year of recovery as you adjust to maintaining sobriety in the real world, away from the constant accountability of a treatment center. Everything is still very new, so boundaries in recovery help protect you from difficult or tempting scenarios. They’re not there to take all the fun out of your newfound life in recovery. Rather, they give you healthy lanes to operate in with confidence. That’s why setting boundaries is often one of the key steps in a strong relapse prevention plan.
By learning how to set boundaries in recovery, you can face any situation and know how to respond with your recovery’s best interests in mind. In time, maintaining your boundaries also teaches you healthier self-discipline, serving you well in recovery. Your established boundaries also communicate to your friends and loved ones how they can relate and care for you well during your recovery. They’re able to adjust and adapt themselves to ensure that they’re prioritizing your recovery and not inviting you into a situation that could generate a lapse vs. relapse.
Setting boundaries in recovery also matters considering what can happen when they aren’t in place. Without boundaries, you may be more likely to do something that puts your sobriety at risk for fear of displeasing someone else or not prioritizing your personal needs. Before you know it, you’re back to your old, addictive ways and wondering what happened. At the same time, recovery without boundaries likely means your self-care will fall by the wayside, leaving you vulnerable to addiction again.
Boundaries in Addiction Recovery to Consider
When setting boundaries in recovery, which ones should you have in place? What do healthy boundaries in addiction recovery actually look like? According to PositivePsychology.com, there are multiple different types of boundaries you may want to create, including:
- Physical boundaries (privacy, personal space, your body)
- Time boundaries (how much time spent doing something or with someone)
- Mental boundaries (freedom to have your own thoughts, values, and opinions)
- Emotional boundaries (your degree of emotional availability with others)
- Monetary boundaries (financial decisions, including giving to others)
- Internal boundaries (self-regulation, energy spent on yourself vs. others)
- Conversational boundaries (what you are open to sharing with others)
Figuring out which boundaries to set should be done alongside your recovery peer mentor, therapist, or a trusted loved one. Or you should at least run your boundaries by them before moving forward. As you think through which boundaries in recovery you want, here are a few important examples to consider establishing:
- Social gatherings and parties: Only limiting your attendance to get-togethers where alcohol and other substances are not present
- Self-care time: Placing time in your schedule to focus on your self-care (whether that’s sleep, exercise, a support group meeting, or “me time”) and saying no to things in conflict with that time
- Addiction and recovery details: Confiding intimate details about your struggles and recovery only with those you trust to support you well
- Situations to avoid: No longer visiting places where alcohol or drugs are served, or spots associated with your past substance use
- Relationships: Prioritizing the relationships that support your recovery and limiting (or even ending) relationships that trigger your addiction
How to Set Boundaries in Recovery
Boundaries in recovery are good to have “on paper,” but they need to be set and maintained in your daily life in order to really help you. So what can you do to learn how to set boundaries so that they actually remain in place?
The first step is to make sure you communicate your boundaries well to your social circles. This may mean having clear conversations with your family, friends, and even coworkers. Be sure to share kindly and assertively, focusing on how you feel and what you need in a respectful way, shares Stanford University.
Once your boundaries have been shared and established, you need to keep them in place. If one gets crossed by a friend, you need to have a conversation with them (no matter how awkward or difficult). Sometimes it takes a minute for people to adjust to your boundaries, but they’ll do so in time. This may also reveal who in your life is really in your corner or not when it comes to your recovery.
Along the way, it’s always a good idea to revisit your boundaries in recovery and think through whether they’re actually working for you. You may need to change your boundaries as your recovery needs change. And if you feel stuck or need help, make sure to seek guidance from your mentor, support group, or therapy team.
Support for Your Recovery Journey
Boundaries are one of the many helpful tools you can utilize for your addiction recovery journey. And if you need professional support along the way, we’re here for you at Sana at Stowe in Stowe, Vermont. Our compassionate, trauma-informed treatment team can help you navigate each stage of your healing, from inpatient care to outpatient treatment, long-term recovery and beyond. Call us today to learn more about our treatment programs.
