When you’re trying to overcome addiction, one of the big hurdles you may need to rise above along the journey is shame. Even when you’re practicing sobriety, shame can still be a regular, unwanted companion. Unfortunately, it can keep you isolated from others as you struggle with the shame of your addiction, preventing you from reclaiming the life you deserve. That’s why overcoming shame is a key aspect of your recovery journey.
Shame and the Stigma of Addiction
VerywellMind.com defines shame as “a feeling of embarrassment or humiliation that arises from the perception of having done something dishonorable, immoral, or improper.” It’s likely that you view your addiction struggles, whatever they may be, as something shameful. That means you probably don’t want others to know about them or see your adjustments and challenges in recovery back in the real world.
Perhaps you’re ashamed of the fact that you let your substance use spiral into a debilitating addiction, where others have not. It may be all too easy to compare yourself to people you know who don’t have the same challenges. Maybe, deep down, you think there’s something off or wrong about who you are.
The stigma of addiction also makes overcoming shame in recovery a challenge. Johns Hopkins University defines stigma as labeling, stereotyping, and discrimination. Consequently, society has a stigma about addiction, both towards people who struggle as well as the treatment involved. Consequently, addiction stigmas you face can negatively impact your well-being, as well as the treatment and recovery process.
What Happens If You Don’t Overcome Shame?
Overcoming shame is a critical step in the addiction treatment and recovery process. But what if you don’t learn how to overcome shame? For starters, your self-esteem and view of your self-worth can rapidly deteriorate. You may begin to believe you’re incapable of actually breaking free from addiction and achieving long-term sobriety. Shame may also drive you into isolation. This keeps you from getting the support you need along your journey, either from loved ones or peers in an addiction support group.
As your feelings of inadequacy and shame combine with a lack of support, they can become constant addiction triggers that lead to relapse. After all, addictive substances have likely been your coping mechanism of choice for ongoing negative feelings or the lingering effects of past trauma (including childhood trauma). Shame will only continue to exacerbate these addictive urges and cravings that drive you to cope.
Overcoming Shame Exercises and Strategies
If you’re wanting to learn how to overcome shame along the recovery journey, what steps should you take? While there isn’t a simple formula, overcoming shame is definitely possible with time, patience, effort, and ongoing support. To get started, incorporate the following overcoming shame exercises into your recovery journey:
Realize Shame is a Feeling, Not Reality
Overcoming shame begins with recognizing its objective truth: it’s only a feeling. It’s not the reality of who you are. If you face shame in the future, learn to see it as something that doesn’t define you as a person. When you remind yourself of this in the moment, shame loses its power.
Fight Against Any Negative Views of Yourself
Shame would tell you that something is inherently wrong with you, or that you’re not worthy of succeeding. Knowing how to overcome shame involves letting go of beliefs like these, as they’re simply unhealthy and incorrect. Yes, you’ve made some bad decisions (and you can certainly own that), but you’re also choosing to change for the better. You are worthy.
Give Yourself Grace (And Patience)
One of the best overcoming shame exercises you can adopt is having compassion and grace for yourself in the recovery process. Breaking the cycle of addiction and living sober takes time. Sometimes you’ll have setbacks, even face drug or alcohol relapse. It’s important to be patient with yourself and continue to work toward your sobriety goals.
Connect With Your Support Network
Addiction and shame thrive in isolation. Overcoming shame happens when you step out of isolation and become known by your community. In recovery, continue to prioritize the relationships you have with friends and loved ones who will encourage you, support your recovery, and hold you accountable. As you do, shame will lose its foothold in your life.
BONUS Overcoming Shame Exercise: Get Therapy
When trying to heal from addiction, it’s key to partner with professional treatment. Not only will an addiction treatment team address your direct symptoms, they’ll also focus on healing the root causes of your struggles, too. That means using personalized therapies to help you overcome the circumstances from your past that may be driving your shame.
At Sana at Stowe in Stowe, Vermont, our alcohol and drug addiction treatment programs use both evidence-based treatment and trauma-informed care to help you overcome addiction and shame in the recovery journey. If you’re ready to reclaim your life from addiction — without shame’s companionship — call us today.
