“I relapsed. How did this happen? What should I do now?”
“Why do I keep relapsing?”
“I want to relapse again. What’s that about?”
“My husband relapsed. What do I do?”
If you (or your loved one) just relapsed, no doubt your mind could be swirling with questions like these. Perhaps it happened during a summer vacation. Maybe you experienced a holiday relapse while visiting your family at Christmas. Or you could have relapsed after an important sobriety milestone.
Regardless of the circumstances, no doubt you’re feeling discouraged and concerned. However, it’s important to remember that all hope is not lost. You can recover and get back on track. Let’s uncover why you may have relapsed and what to do after a relapse moving forward.
Understanding and Identifying Relapse
Did you actually relapse? If you’re thinking, “I relapsed,” you need to make sure. After all, there’s a difference between a lapse vs. relapse. A lapse itself is a minor slip-up during recovery. Maybe you had one drink at a party or used drugs again one evening. But after realizing what you did, you course corrected and reverted back to your recovery practices. You didn’t continue to use.
On the other hand, a drug or alcohol relapse involves repeating addiction behaviors over and over again. You may have resumed your drinking after a period of abstinence. Maybe you’ve taken up another drug habit and developed a transfer addiction in the process. Regardless, you’ve given up on your recovery practices and resumed your addicted lifestyle.
A relapse often occurs in stages, starting with an emotional relapse full of difficult feelings that are usually addiction triggers. Then you advance to a mental relapse (you may even think, “I want to relapse” at this point) and struggle with euphoric recall. Eventually, you physically relapse and use substances consistently. Some signs that indicate you’re about to relapse include:
- Increased cravings
- Lying
- Dropping self-care
- Social isolation
- Behavioral changes
- Worsening anxiety or depression
- Doubting or questioning or your recovery
- Skipping recovery practices altogether
- Romanticizing your past substance use
- Struggling with post-acute withdrawal syndrome
I Relapsed: Why Do I Keep Relapsing?
If you indeed relapsed, you’re likely wondering how you got to this crossroads. You may have been doing so well in your recovery for some time. Perhaps this is a really surprising result. However, relapse is actually a common outcome. According to the journal Current Psychiatry Reports, studies have shown that 85% of people return to substance use within one year of addiction treatment.
Relapse can happen for various reasons. According to the Alcohol and Drug Foundation, common causes of relapse may include:
- Circumstances or places that tempt you to use
- Difficult feelings or situations that trigger substances as a coping mechanism
- Pre-existing mental or emotional issues
- Pre-existing physical health issues like chronic pain
- Self-blame and feelings of guilt after experiencing a lapse
But for some of you reading this, your relapse may not be all that surprising. Your relapse could be the latest in a history of them, leaving you wondering, “Why do I keep relapsing?” If that’s the case, like the initial cause of your first relapse, several factors could be responsible for your repeated relapses. You may not have the support from others you need to stay the course in recovery. Perhaps you have co-occurring disorders such as bipolar disorder or depression that have yet to be addressed. For some, everyday stress can continue to drive them to seek out substances as a way to cope, leading to continued relapses.
What to Do After a Relapse
“I relapsed. What now?,” is a common response once the reality of your situation hits you. It may be tempting to despair and forgo your recovery efforts. Maybe you fear that you’ll just end up relapsing again if you try to make changes. However, a relapse doesn’t mean your sobriety days are over. So where do you go from here?
When a relapse happens, your next steps are very important in returning to your recovery journey. With that said, here’s what to do after a relapse:
- Think through what happened: Now’s the time for self-reflection. Revisit the circumstances and choices that led you to relapse. This practice can help you avoid the same mistakes in the future.
- Seek support: It may be tempting to isolate yourself out of shame due to your relapse, but you need support from others now more than ever. Share about your relapse with caring loved ones or your support group, and continue attending meetings.
- Revise your relapse prevention plan: Do you have one? If not, it’s important to create a relapse prevention plan to keep relapse at bay in the future. And if you previously created one, let what you’ve learned about your recent relapse help revise your plan to make healthy changes.
- Pursue compassion and self-care: Extend yourself grace and compassion, understanding relapse can happen to anyone. Forgive yourself after your relapse. Doing so allows you to move forward. At the same time, resume your self-care practices so you can be in a healthier state to resume recovery.
Seeking Professional Help As a Next Step
If you’ve relapsed, another next step you can take is to revisit an addiction treatment program. Underlying trauma or co-occurring disorders may remain unhealed from your past care, leading to future relapses if left untreated. At Sana at Stowe in Stowe, Vermont, we utilize trauma-informed care to heal the root causes of your addiction, as well as any co-occurring mental health challenges. To learn more about our treatment programs, call us now.
