Strength to Heal

Am I Affected By Someone Else’s Alcohol or Drug Use?

The following questions are designed to help you decide whether or not you have been affected.

  1. Do you worry about how much someone drinks/uses drugs?
  2. Do you have money problems because of someone else’s drinking/drug use?
  3. Do you tell lies to cover up for someone else’s drinking or drug use?
  4. Do you feel that if the drinker/drug user cared about you, they would stop drinking/using drugs to please you?
  5. Do you blame the drinker’s/drug user’s behavior on his or her companions?
  6. Are plans frequently upset or canceled or meals delayed because of the drinker/drug user?
  7. Do you make threats, such as, “If you don’t stop drinking/using drugs, I’ll leave you”?
  8. Do you secretly try to smell the drinker’s breath? To look at the drug user’s pupils or check their skin for needle marks?
  9. Are you afraid to upset someone for fear it will set off a drinking bout or drug binge?
  10. Have you been hurt or embarrassed by a drinker’s/drug user’s behavior?
  11. Are holidays and gatherings spoiled because of drinking or drug use?
  12. Have you considered calling the police for help in fear of abuse?
  13. Do you search for hidden alcohol or drugs?
  14. Do you ever ride in a car with a driver who has been drinking or using drugs?
  15. Have you refused social invitations out of fear or anxiety?
  16. Do you feel like a failure because you cannot control someone else’s drinking or drug use?
  17. Do you think that if the drinker/drug user stopped, your other problems would be solved?
  18. Do you ever threaten to hurt yourself to scare the drinker/the drug user?
  19. Do you feel angry, confused or depressed most of the time?
  20. Do you feel there is no one who understands your problems?

Adapted from Al-Anon’s Twenty Questions

If you have answered “Yes” to any of these questions, your life has been affected by someone else’s drinking or drug use.

Sana at Stowe can help to provide resources and  information to affected friends and family.